Dating in french culture
) holds the possibility of its counterpart (he loves me not! And isn't that the hidden allure of reading wedding announcements?
"The straight woman's sports pages" is how Carrie Bradshaw described them in , and she got it right.
I don’t know if it is because it is easier to find an apartment for two in the increasingly expensive Paris or that the French just enjoy coupling up, but casual dating has not really hit the mainstream, and relationships tend to blossom from the first kiss. There is no why not, especially if you give him a small kiss at the end of your dates because this is incredibly misleading to a French man.
However, Don’t Do What I Did: Casually go out on a date with a guy you have tepid feelings for to practice your French and because why not? There is a guy walking the streets of Paris who thinks I am a horrible person because I thought he and I were just– you know– “hanging out.” Maybe I have more Brooklyn dude in me than I thought. Not to be a downer but yes, break-ups in Paris do happen. They happen just as quickly as relationships start where you recall only weeks earlier when you were the butter to his baguette. You ask yourself staring down at your phone that you are convinced is blocking his phone calls. However, Don’t Do What I Did: Confuse his ring-less marriage proposal as a real one.
She picked a flower and started pulling off its petals, but rather than the familiar refrain "He loves me, he loves me not," she carefully intoned: "He loves me a little, a lot, passionately, madly, not at all." I instantly thought that Sandrine was one clever French girl until I learned that, no, this is the standard French refrain.
This is how the French are groomed to think about love from an early age: not in the absolutes of total love or utter rejection, but in nuances and a range of possibilities.
But we might also read them for the lush perversion of wondering, despite the perfect happiness that radiates from each photo, when these couples might unravel at the seams.
This stands in stark contrast to the French, who not only prefer to cohabitate rather than marry, but are also wary of perfection.
"If anything looks too good to be true," my French friend Marie-Louise once said, "it probably is." They also believe that personal love is a matter of private business, which goes a long way toward explaining the shock Marie-Louise expressed when she stumbled on the wedding announcements in the style section of for the first time.
Don’t be alarmed, but also don’t feel like you have to say it back. However, Don’t Do What I Did: Don’t be irrationally affronted by his declaration by accusing him of getting all “French” on you too soon.
Luckily the guy who I flipped out on really did love me and is now my husband. Things may have changed with the Tinder generation sweeping through Paris but I have heard from single friends that even this hook-up culture is losing some steam.