Rules blog dating
I can finally see how much I DO have to offer to a partner and look so very forward to a mutually satisfying relationship. I am single, yet learning about how to be comfortable in my own skin so when I am confident enough to venture back out into the dating world, I will attract someone who is seeing the real me and not some type of illusion I'm trying to hide behind.Rob and I will go out on our 4th date tonight :) Peace y'all, Denise What a lovely story, Denise! Congrats on reaching your true self and braving the dating world with comfortable success.When looking for a mate, being one's self is not going to guarantee landing "the prize", but if you feel good about yourself, the odds of attracting a suitable partner get much better.Scripts are a key component of the branch of social psychology known as transactional analysis (TA), which no one talks about anymore.
Assess each new partner as an individual, and stay keenly connected with how you experience yourself while in his or her presence.And it's not to deny the possible importance of other childhood experiences. In terms of dating, people tend to pair up with those who either further or complement their scripts, the former being the one-sided kind of relationship.If the scripts are good, fine; if the scripts are bad or incompatible, not so good. I really hate those silly daytime talk shows and magazines that try to impose certain rules when it comes to relationships (as well as gender roles/stereotypes.) You should just be yourself - be free to ask someone out no matter what your gender.I share this here with the hope that it may help folks find comfort when dating and entering into a new relationship...Just prior to celebrating one of the BIG birthdays I did some soul searching and admitted that I had been approaching dating from the wrong perspective.When it comes to courting and dating, popular longstanding advice suggests that until the fish is on the hook, it is beneficial to adhere to certain "rules." These rules seem to offer a recipe for finding commitment and true romantic partnership, but what they invariably deliver is lopsided loving.In my experience treating couples and individuals, many hope that if they "play the game" correctly, their prince or princess will be the prize.So I had the big birthday and coincidentally went out on a first date 10 days later and instead of heart palpitations and a low cut top, I decided to be comfortable inside and out!I went deep inside of myself to where I truly reside and stayed there, peaceful and still.In a nutshell, in TA scripts are different than you've got them -- they result from longterm persistent low level programming by the parent of the opposite sex. (This model goes back to before the disintegration of the two-parent family began.) So a mother will tend to script a son to be like his maternal grandfather, possibly emphasizing his good qualities and excising his bad ones, depending on the mother's relationship with her father and her adult perspective.This is quite different from "role model" concepts of early development which emphasize the same-sex parent. One implication for men is that they should choose woman as mothers whose father they like, because their sons are going to resemble him in a lot of ways.