Dating with young children
Now that you’ve discussed the notion of dating with your kids, it might be time for them to meet your new partner.
Keep in mind that you don’t need to perform an introduction between your child and every person you date—this can be extremely confusing, especially for young children. ) Then say something like ‘I was thinking that you might like to meet John.
Be sensitive to how they’re feeling about this shift, and Divorce Help for Parents cautions that there could be similarities in your situations—you can use this as a talking point.
There isn’t one right or wrong time to start dating after a divorce.
Instead, reserve the meeting for when you’re dating a person that you’d like to be in a serious relationship with. Would you like him to come over for dinner, or would you like the three of us to go out to dinner together? Make sure the kids never feel threatened by the thought they are losing their mom or dad to a stranger.”One of the biggest fears they may have is that this new partner has been brought in to “replace” the divorced parent, so it’s imperative that you reassure them that this new person isn’t meant to be a new mother or father to them.
An article at Healthy advises that you should be upfront with your child about why you’re seeing this new person and what they mean to you.“Tell your youngster about this man, and explain why you like him. ’ Show her that you would like her to participate in arranging this first meeting.”Making your child part of the process—but without giving them veto rule over your dating life—can help ease them into the idea that Mom or Dad has someone new, and that as the children, they’re still important. Their other parent will still be a part of their lives, and their relationship is in no way threatened by this new person.“Children who have close relationships with both biological parents are more likely to accept a new parent partner into their lives without distress,” says the article at Family Share Suffice it to say, this is just another reason to keep the post-divorce relationship with your former partner civil.
However, if you have children, the best time to start talking to them about this move is right up front, and then continue to keep the lines of communication open.
If you have a check list of attributes you seek in a potential partner and one of them is that they be child-free, you’re denying yourself access to a pool of wonderful men for no good reason.