Dating a non jewish man
He also believed that marriage was "tough enough as it is" and "easier if you start with a common culture, religion, and values." Years ago, my father threatened to disown my older sister if she married her boyfriend who was raised in a different faith.I didn't think he would have had the heart to do it, but the relationship ended before his will was tested.One of the first things I said to him was, "How will I tell my dad?! " He believed that Jews were less likely to keep such secrets and commit such despicable acts." I had worked so hard to convince my father that this marriage would not bring disgrace upon myself, my family, or my people. Of course, plenty of Jews also withhold their feelings and cheat on their spouses.As the years went by and our relationship intensified, my boyfriend accompanied me to many a (Shabbat songs).We attended Judaism classes and a support group for interfaith couples and agreed that if we ever had kids, we would raise them as Jews.About a year after our beautiful Jewish wedding, we found out we were having a baby boy.When he was 16 months old, I discovered that my husband was having an affair.
(Didn't she know that having an affair with a married man is a ?!) But when I told my dad, his first and foremost concern was for my wellbeing.To this day he and my mother have been extremely supportive of me, though occasionally my dad makes an "if only you would have listened to me…" statement, which pierces me to the core.He had come to adore this young man and saw that we were happy together.In the months that followed, friends and family were surprised at how well my father was "handling" our engagement.I never expected it to be more than a summer fling, but things escalated quickly. "And I can't marry a non-Jew." I then explained the concept of a -something that would bring shame upon oneself, one's family, and the entire Jewish community.On our fourth date I informed him in no uncertain terms, "This can't go anywhere." "Why? Based on my upbringing, I would feel guilty for betraying generations of Jewish martyrs who had died so that I could be free to be Jewish.Sure, I shared my father's concerns about the survival of the Jewish people and, though it might sound stereotypical, was aware of the cultural differences between our Jewish family and his non-Jewish one. In my family we addressed our feelings openly; his tended to ignore uncomfortable issues, hoping they would just go away.Yet I still felt that our similarities outweighed our differences.Through it all, my father and I had many long discussions on the subject of intermarriage.Eventually he came to accept my choice, though it was very difficult for him.